it'S oK~

tried to talk to u...even send u a msg or somethings...but it's seems like it's not working...you don even wanna be frens..it's ok..i got the 'msg'
don worry..i won't disturb you anymore...pls take care of urself...
hugs

mesS~

this week is really a mess...how can i don do self reflection if i always make mistake le??i'm such a dumbo!!
really need to do something i love and talk to the ppl i love desperately...dunno why i am not feeling well at all...since starting of school..been busy the whole time..exams exams exams non stop..until now i still haven't get an internship..plus fought with my closest friends...why why why??this is just so depressing..i think i should just lock myself in the room until i figure things out...i need the beach..i need the stars..i need to jump n laugh around with nothing to worry about...i need my friends..most importantly i need my family..well this is just not my time..iguess...stay positive~

disasteR~

today i did my interview..and all i can say is catastrophe haiz...i seriously dunno what i am talk and my brain is blank..plus now i'm i practical so need to keep changing clothes like crazy ppl..why oh why...that's too crazy that's all i can say hahah...
why i can't i just be calmer and talk better why oh why??? hope i still have the chance even though the percentage is not high anymore hahah...
busy busy busy everyday..that's all...seems so different compare to last year...it's so busy this year and don even have time to watch a movie quietly...haiz...so sad..am i or not?? haiz..sayang when are u getting my batik and wayang kulit le??anyway i miss ya....i'm going crazy and will be crazy soon...ahhahaha
can't really write anything touching now....
it's time for.....self-reflection

moloN~

so scary..gonna have an interview tomorrow..it's my first time and it's so scary...haiz really dunno how to calm myself down..first time doing interview face to face...ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!anyway everyone needs to go through it i guess...it';s a circle of life..haha cakap sampai begitu serious la me..haiz haiz haiz..haha going crazy over here d la...
pls help me!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! due to not able to scream out loud right now..so i just can express it in words...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
hope i'll feel better...really need some good massage la recently..feeling stress out all the time dunno why le..haiz.. I WANT MASSAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
all i can say now is...Good luck to myself and you can do it!!!hahahahah
stupid ming~

beautY n the beasT~

was watching my all time favorite animated film...again i was amazed by the story, the character, the songs...am impress with the author...i have watch it for so many times already and each time i watch it i have different thoughts a bout it...this time the story makes me think about controlling my temper, thats the first thing my parents and my good friends would wan me to always think about n improve..hahaha and its never judge a book by it's cover..whoever who came up with this phrase..i salute u haha...belle and her father just didn't mind if ppl think they are weird or dont fit in to the community..they have each other and that's all that matter to them as a family...papa i love u...there was one scene after the beast let belle go and look for her dad..and the clock was asking him why and he say i let her go because i love her...it is a really hard thing to do...to let go of things or ppl or dreams that you care about and love so much...the hardest part sometimes is always the letting go part...in my opinion..and it really take a lotsa courage to let go..belle let go of her freedom in exchange for her father's freedom....cry during the whole movie..i know i'm over sensitive sometimes..i guess when u feel like crying u should just let it out...crying or showing weakness doesn't really mean u are weak...i guess...oh well i'm happy i get to watch this again...thanks to my mum who's willing to send it to me..:) happy mid autumn festival and happy birthday to ah ma!!!!!

randoM~

"How have you been? how's life treating you? hope you found what u search for in life"

Its always the question i wanna ask you but don really get the chance...its a really spontaneous thought that came to my mind bout yous...was listening to a song and thinking...isn't it weird sometimes...someone used to be such a big part of your life..you may even thought of having a future with the person and u plan for so many stuff but suddenly everything change one day...it might be the feelings..it might be just the situation that time...it might just be fate..or cos u are not suitable at that moment...anyways...u been through things together...ups n downs..it's life...get hurt sometimes...but everything is an experience...good ones..learn from mistake and make sure u don do it on the next one but who knows...haha the world changes everyday, people change as well...the earth will keep spinning no matter you wanna move on or not...the world is too big with big problems for ppl to care bout you...i'm blabbing again...anyways

"wish you happiness and lucks and thank you"

misseS~

was watching the videos given by kelvin last year before i leave malaysia...oh my!!really miss those times when everyone is still so close to each other..now some are in australia, some still stay in malaysia...i really miss all of you..
here, i always hear how my frens have fun before they came to les roches...always party like crazy...doing crazy things n breaking the rules...i was not like that..u can call me a nerd but i don mind seriously..those precious moments with all my frens..all we care about is each other...
we'll do stupid stuff whenever we go..laugh so loud...talk so loud...play funny games...i really cherish all those special moments...
those time is when u are away from alcohol or anything worst than it...it's just pure fun n stupid fun..but it's the best time ever...
felt really bad cos when i was doing my internship in malaysia i didn't spend time with my frens as i should...here i would like to apologize (no matter u can hear it or see it or not)..noo matter what..i still love n miss u guys a lot...
pls always take care of yourself and stay the same....hugs and kisses..

thoughtS~

lately i've been thinking alot..maybe i should just stay true to myself or maybe i should be a person who always say what ppl wanna hear n don say what ppl don wanna hear..i'm sorry if sometimes i'm stupid and don use my brain to think before i talk but i really mean no harm..and if one person gonna get piss and hate me for that then i really dunno what to say...for your information i am a person who don think before i talk..and it's my weakness..i wanna change it but sometimes it's just hard..it's not something i can control or whatever..it's been like this since long long time ago...i offended ppl with the way i talk...cos i never use my brain...really sorry for the brainless me...i become like that when i'm comfortable with the situation i guess which i shouldn't..i guess i should always just control my brain and don talk so much...better keep it then showing it then...
i'm sorry...been thinking n needly to express it out...
seriously sometimes i just don wanna give a fuck anymore....but i am in this age already...need to be responsible i guess...well if being an adult means this...then i guess i'm gonna be like this...
for now the only way i can think of is keep it to myself....about thought and be careful with my words...
self-reflection..............................................

......

last night was a disaster for me...fell three times..hurt myself and say things that i shouldn't have said...seriously i really regret some of the things i said and done...oh my! should not should not should not.....haiz haiz haiz...there was a time yesterday that i really feel like killing someone.................
ah anyway.....self-control!

parentS~

媳妇说："煮淡一点你就嫌没有味道，现在煮咸
一点你却说咽不下。你究竟怎想怎么样？"

母亲一见儿子回来，二话不说便把饭菜往嘴里送. 她怒瞪他一眼。他试了一口，马上吐出来， 儿子说："我不是说过了吗，妈有病不能吃太咸！"

"那好！妈是你的，以后由你来煮！"媳妇怒气
冲冲地回房。儿子无奈地轻叹一声，然后对母亲说："妈，别吃了，我去煮个面给？"

"仔，你是不是有话想跟妈说，是就说好了，在心里！"
"妈，公司下个月升我职，我会很忙，至于老婆，她说很想出来工作，所以......"

母亲马上意识到儿子的意思："仔，不要送妈去老人院。"声音似乎在哀求。

儿子沉默片刻，他是在寻找更好的理由。 "妈，其实老人院并没有甚么不好？知道老婆一但工作，一定没有时间好好服侍。老人院有吃有住有人服侍照顾， 不是比在家里好得多吗？"

"可是，阿财叔他......"

洗了澡，草草吃了一碗方便面，儿子便到书房去。他茫然地伫立于窗前，有些犹豫不决。母亲年轻便守寡，含辛茹苦将他抚养成人，供他出国读书。但她从不用年轻时的牺牲当作要胁他孝顺的筹码，反而是妻子以婚姻要胁他！真的要让母亲住老人院吗？他问自己，他有些不忍。

"可以陪你下半世的人是你老婆，难道是你妈吗？"阿财叔的儿子总是这样提醒他。

"你妈都这么老了，好命的话可以活多几年，为何不趁这几年好好孝顺她呢？树欲静而风不息，子欲养而亲不在啊！"亲戚总是这样劝他。

儿子不敢再想下去，深怕自己真的会改变初衷。

晚，太阳收敛起灼热的金光，躲在山后憩息。一间建在郊外山岗的一座贵族老人院。是的，钱用得越多，儿子才心安理得。当儿子领着母亲步入大厅时，崭新的电视机，42英寸的荧幕正播放着一部喜剧，但观众一点笑声也没有。几个衣着一样，发型一样的老妪歪歪斜斜地坐在发沙上，神情呆滞而落寞。有个老人在自言自语，有个正缓缓弯下腰，想去捡掉在地上的一块饼干吃。 儿子知道母亲喜欢光亮，所以为她一间阳光充足的房间。从窗口望出去，树荫下，一片芳草如茵。几名护士推着坐在轮椅的老者在夕阳下散步，四周悄然寂静得令人心酸。纵是夕阳无限好，毕竟已到了黄昏，他心中低低叹息。

"妈，我......我要走了！"母亲只能点头。他走时，母亲频频挥手，她张着没有牙的嘴，苍白干燥的咀唇在嗫嚅着，一副欲语还休的样子。儿子这才注意到母亲银灰色的头发，深陷的眼窝以及打着细褶的皱脸。母亲，真的老了！

他霍然记起一则儿时旧事。那年他才6岁，母亲有事回乡，不便携他同行，于是把他寄住在阿财叔家几天。母亲临走时，他惊恐地抱着母亲的腿不肯放，伤心大声号哭道："妈妈不要丢下我！妈妈不要走！" 最后母亲没有丢下他。他连忙离开房间，顺手把门关上，不敢回头，深恐那记忆像鬼魅似地追缠而来。

他回到家，妻子与岳母正疯狂的把母亲房里的一切扔个不亦乐乎。身高3英寸的奖杯──那是他小学作文比赛《我的母亲》第1名的胜利品！华英字典──那是母亲整个月省吃省用所买给他的第1份生日礼物！还有母亲临睡前要擦的风湿油，没有
他为她擦，带去老人院又有甚么意义呢？

"够了，别再扔了！"儿子怒吼道。"这么多垃圾，不把它扔掉，怎么放得下我的东
西。" 岳母没好气地说。"就是嘛！你赶快把你妈那张烂床给抬出去，我明天要为我妈添张新的！"一堆童年的照片展现在儿子眼前，那是母亲带他到动物园和游乐园拍的照片。"它们是我妈的财产，一样也不能丢！""你这算甚态度？对我妈这么大声，我要你向我妈道歉！" (楼主注：这算什么儿子，把自己的母亲送到养老院，然后把岳母接来住，要就一起去送，要就留自己的母亲）

"我娶你就要爱你的母亲，为甚么？嫁给我就不能爱我的母亲？"

雨后的黑夜分外冷寂，街道萧瑟，行人车辆格外稀少。一辆宝马在路上飞驰，频频闯红灯，陷黄格，呼一声又飞驰而过。那辆轿车一路奔往山岗上的那间老人院，停车直奔上楼，推开母亲卧房的门。他幽灵似地站着，母亲正抚摸着风湿痛的双腿低泣。 她见到儿子手中正拿着那瓶风湿油，显然感到安慰的说："妈忘了带，幸好你拿来！"他走到母亲身边，跪了下来。 "很晚了，妈自己擦可以了，你明天还要上班，回去吧！"

他嗫嚅片刻，终于忍不住啜泣道："妈，对不起，请原谅我！我们回家去吧！"

～～后语～～

随着自己愈长大，看着父母亲脸庞从年轻变憔悴，头发从乌丝变白发,动作从迅捷变缓慢，多心疼！父母亲总是将最好、最宝贵的留给我们，像蜡烛不停的燃烧自己，照亮孩子！而我呢？有没有腾出一个空间给我的父母，或者只是在当我需
要停泊岸时，才会想起他们......

其实父母亲要的真的不多，只是一句随意的问候「爸、妈，你们今天好吗？」随意买的宵夜，煮一顿再普通不过的晚餐，睡前帮他们盖盖被子，天冷帮他们添衣服、戴手套....都能让他们高兴温馨很久。

有时，我常在想：我希望我的子女以后如何对我。那现在，我有没有如此对待我的父母？我相信，人是环环相扣的；现在，你如何对待你的父母；以后，你的子女就如何待你。

朋友，人世间最难报的就是父母恩，愿我们都能：以反哺之心奉敬父母，以感恩之心孝顺父母！

～共勉之～

生命不要求我们成为最好的，只要求我们作最大的努力！

老人安养院墙上发现的一篇文章

孩子！当你还很小的时候，我花了很多时间，教你慢慢用汤匙、用筷子吃东西。教你系鞋带、扣扣子、溜滑梯、教你穿衣服、梳头发、拧鼻涕。这些和你在一起的点点滴滴，是多么的令我怀念不已。所以，当我想不起来，接不上话时，请给我一点时间，等我一下，让我再想一想......极 可能最后连要说什么，我也一并忘记。孩子！你忘记我们练习了好几百回，才学会的第一首娃娃歌吗？是否还记得每天总要我绞尽脑汁，去回答不知道你从哪里冒出 来的吗？所以，当我重复又重复说着老掉牙的故事，哼着我孩提时代的儿歌时，体谅我。让我继续沉醉在这些回忆中吧！切望你，也能陪着我闲话家常吧！孩子，现 在我常忘了扣扣子、系鞋带。吃饭时，会弄脏衣服，梳头发时手还会不停的抖，不要催促我，要对我多一点耐心和温柔，只要有你在一起，就会有很多的温暖涌上心 头。

孩子！如今，我的脚站也站不稳，走也走不动。所以，请你紧紧的握着我的手，陪着我，慢慢的。就像当年一样，我带着你一步一步地走。

若为人子女也不懂得如何体谅他们，那他们便只能于痛苦中渡过余生，黑暗中逝去......

家人才是最重要的, 爱情可以重新再找寻，但父母一生却只有一个，要珍惜、珍重。

birthdaY girL n boY~

Today is a special day for both of my friends....happy birthday my dear friends..wishing u all the best in everything..
one of them are here with me and today we went to the school's a la carte restaurant and had a good time there..the teacher in charge today is as funny as ever..took a lotsa pics together..i get to have such a time with friends that i didn't hang out much or know last year...it was my own fault cos last semester i was a different person i guess...i blame myself for that...i should have use my brain more i guess..a million thanks for letting me into ur life..accepting me..and forgiving me..
for the one who's not here...everyone miss u here...hope you are doing well over the other side of the world...
"friendship is trusting, sharing, accepting, forgiving, and believing"