herE i aM~

Haven't post for so long..feel so weird coming back here...one of the reason i stop posting is because i thought no one gonna care what i say in my blog and plus i don even know that i am really saying what i am really feeling..weird huh?? i am kinda weird though...
am in london now..missing home so much...so much until i can't even cry it out..keep doing thing to make myself busy..but nothing is beneficial...feel like i am not living life to the fullest...foolish ming..why oh why???
family have gone for holiday for chinese new year and i am stuck here feeling miserable..i know it is my prob..i should be positive and always look happy for others..so that they don't think that i am angry or moody..but i just cant help it..i'm sorry but it is what i felt..i don feel like talking..i wanna do my job and get it done..i know i am emotional..but pls give me sometime...i wanna be like by you but my emotion..i can't help it...
maybe i should just really hide everything i feel..and just wear a MASK all the time..so that this would make everybody happy and feel better...
i dunno..this is so confusing...until i dunno what to say...maybe i just shouldn't speak out...
:( i dunno..really dunno.....
@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~