beE minG~

promisE is a promisE~

2009-12-22T20:51:00.004Z

Found a poem that was written for me by a close friend...He gave it to me long time ago...and it always cheer me up a little when i feel blue...

During these darkest hours
When i feel all alone and empty
All i do is call out your name
A warmth feeling surrounds my heart
I feel your presence once more

Though you may be distant
And my heart aches from missing you
I conjure you up when i need you the most
The words, the mails, memories of you
The dream of you comes alive
You will always be by my side

Nothing can ever stop me from
Cherish you the way i do
My love word is true
I will always be with you
We shall never be apart
I hold you closest to my heart

Last time i heard from u, u told me you are very happy....happy for ur own future...i pray for u my friend..you've been through a lot and things are coming into pieces...I wish for ur happiness :) Thank you my dear friend... Dee, a great life lies ahead for u...gambathe neh!!

OBS~

2009-12-22T20:28:00.003Z

Found this when i was throwing stuff away...wanna keep it as a memory..during the outward bound school...something like a 10 days away from civilization and stamina challenging camp...i'm the only girl...haha..here goes:

*****************************************************
Listen to the story of the 6 of us
Story of fun and pain
You'll probably hear this for the next few days
So why not come and join us now

On the 1st day of OBS,
5 guys came first, there was Kush, Judd, Jin, Wei, Wow
And there was a girl
First we were shocked, and she went Oh! God!
So it was our first day

On the 2nd day of OBS,
We learnt to tie knots
Went to the rope course
She challenged us and outshine all of us

On the 3rd day of OBS,
We learned to set our tents
Went for a kayak, got ourselves in mud
And we all learned to use a compass

On the 4th day of OBS,
We kayak to Pangkor
Sea's were choppy
Everybody feeling sick
But finally we reached Telok Seladih

On the 5th day of OBS,
Repelling was so funny
Wow-wow became a Tarzan
He got tangled up
And he fell down like a monkey

On the 6th day of OBS,
Hiking was so scary
Went up in zig-zags, nearly got lost
Carl said "almost there"
But we end up in a wild boar's land

On the 7th day of OBS,
Kush woke up next to a wild boar
He was shocked, it was scared
And they both ran the opposite way

On the 8th day of OBS,
Solo camping kills
Short of wood, fooled by the rain
And came out like a skunk

On the 9th day of OBS,
We are gathered here
Having a BBQ, enjoying ourselves
Telling you our story
And we still have one day more.

2009-12-20T22:17:00.004Z

las horas pasan, pero el dia es el mismo

..........time passed but the days remain the same

here'S thE thinG~

2009-12-19T23:22:00.003Z

Cannot lie to myself anymore..i really do miss u even though i try to deny it...sometimes i really do wanna tell ppl and myself that i regret i've met u...cos u turn my world upside down...u make me have feelings like this again...but actually..i guess...i am in some ways glad that i've met u...u are a wonderful person...in ur own way...which i seems to like so much...the sad thing for me is...i am not the one person that u give the key to your heart to....
i really do still miss you...time will pass and i hope time will heal...now i guess i should pull myself from being in denial into feeling the feelings i have...let myself feel for something....and i guess i'll be better in time...be a better person...physically and mentally...improving....
i can't listen to the song 'last request'...reminds me of u....n i didn't get my last request...as usual.. :P
thinking...thoughts...realizing......priority...
you are right...i must love myself more....
take care~

alwayS iN mY hearT~

2009-12-10T21:38:00.003Z

Time flies and is the end of the semester...this semester has been a bittersweet ones....get closer to different friends that you might not even thought u gonna be close frens..know new frens who have made you laugh...don feel like studying the whole semester...was putting my concentration on things that now to me...which seems like i have never had it cos i have never own it..
In life...we meet people from all walks of life...we gather...and we have to separate...cos everyone is going different path...but it is life...there something i like to tell myself all the time "life is full of ups and downs...it's better you go through with it with a smile...or u can choose to drag it through" well sometimes it is hard to smile...but i need to learn..cos life have given me so much...a wonderful family....great frens that i have met in my life...
Frens who make such big impacts in my life....i thank you all....
it is not easy sometimes to be separated from the people you are close to...but my dears...i am happy for you...siempre en mi corazon...i think i start to like this...no matter which corner of the world u are in...i know..u are always there...so am i....
It is a privilege to have u in my life...

foR whaT???

2009-11-11T20:44:00.002Z

Sometimes it's really pointless to say something to someone...you care n you wan the best for that person...but apparently it does not make any difference in the person's life....someone told me...i cannot judge the person as a fren all i can do is listen...and try to be there...well i have done it...and i hope the person would listen to some of my advice or at least...i'm just hoping the best for the person i care..but i guess people just could n't be bothered...they just wanna do it their own way....
fine!!!!i won't say a word now....
you can help yourself...cos what ever i do what ever i say...will not matter to you anyways...
cos i guess i am not important.......

2009-09-15T20:06:00.000+01:00

'who knows what tomorrow brings..all i know is the way i feel..when it's real i keep it alive~'

smilE~

2009-09-01T22:31:00.003+01:00

realize that no matter how you feel...how down u are...the world will keep spinning~ no one would ever stop what they are really doing and wait for u.....
this is how the world works....yeah of course ppl who love you will still care about u...but u cannot be selfish to have them to stop if you love them too right??
hmm.....the only way is smile~

teacH mE~

2009-08-25T00:39:00.003+01:00

Wanna learn to open my heart...to able to show someone i care who i really am..and not hide myself or avoid getting myself hurt by being a bitch or mean all the time...i know i can never make someone love me..but at least...
i should be brave to be myself and show how i really feel isn't it?? i dunno...i wish someone can teach me all this sometimes but i guess it is the way of life...to figure and experience things...
i'm shouting out to the world 'pls show me how to open my heart' to be able to feel.....
my heart maybe broken..i mean everyone have that kinda experience...but i need to have courage right??....
i really wonder sometimes..............
am i ready to give my heart to someone???
i wanna be brave.............

separatioN~

2009-05-31T23:05:00.002+01:00

Two more days i'll leave london i go back home..feel happy bout it but at the same time feel down cos i'm leaving london....gonna miss the frens i made here....
Thank you so much for everything...
love~

i turN to yoU~

2009-05-22T00:58:00.002+01:00

by Christina Aguilera

When I'm lost in the rain,
In your eyes I know I'll find the light
To light my way.
And when I'm scared,
And losing ground,
When my world is going crazy,
You can turn it all around.
And when I'm down you're there
- pushing me to the top.
You're always there,
giving me all you've got.

For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
for everything that's true
I turn to you.

When I lose the will to win,
I just reach for you and
I can reach the sky again.
I can do anything
'Cause your love is so amazing,
'Cause your love inspires me.
And when I need a friend,
You're always on my side
Giving me faith
taking me through the night

For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
for everything that's true
I turn to you.

For the arms to be my shelter
through all the rain,
For truth that will never change,
For someone to lean on,
For a heart I can rely on through anything,
For that one who I can run to...

For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
for everything that's true
I turn to you.
For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
for everything that's true
I turn to you.
I turn to you...

gratitutE~

2009-05-21T00:01:00.002+01:00

Really thankful for the advice you have given me...make me understand even more...cannot really express how i felt..you have only know me for such a short time but the advice you have given to me will make a big impact for me..i know this might not be important to you however i know what you said to me today it's gonna change my life..my attitude...
Nothing more i can say..just thank you so much....
Really from the bottom of my heart...Thank so much for the time and energy...
Thank you so much...
:)
even though i feel sad about myself right now..but i will only allow it for tonight...
tomorrow is another new day...
time and attitude............REMEMBER!!!!!always~

londoN~

2009-05-17T16:40:00.003+01:00

Two weeks and three days more...i'll be home hehhehee...
But i think i'm gonna miss this city..never really like it the first time i came..it was quite a shock at first..cos i'm a kampung girl..hehehe
A city full of ppl from all around the world..different languages, colour and background..learn a lot and saw a lotsa different things and ppl...
i'm grateful that i was given this chance..to experience one of the greatest city in the world...Thanks to the care of family and friends..
so.....Next Stop?????

mesS~

2009-05-15T16:13:00.002+01:00

Have not live up to the life i wan to..been doing a lotsa thinking lately...it's so weird how can a person who thought that she's on the right track of life..suddenly think so much and get so confuse about life...
what is my purpose in life??why am i here now???where should i go??what should i do as a human being???
the question go on and on and the answer cannot be found yet...
LIFE~what a mystery...
i guess i just need to pick myself up!!!be positive...and search..even it might take me a long time to search for my purpose...i will find it one day...
i want to believe it...i need to believe in myself and am grateful for ppl who had help me and for ppl who didn't help me....
:)
crazy ming...hahahhahaha

2009-03-13T13:23:00.002Z

Was so drunk last night...can't believe i still type in my blog haha..first thing i wake up tis morning is to check whether i vomit in the toilet or not..i don wanna get another red card from my housemate..ever again...
It was fun last night adri thank you so much!!but half of it i can't really remember what we were talking about hahha...and i can't really remember how we get home????
it's so hard to find someone who would enjoy all those music with me..
anyway nothing really special happening in my life..that's why i'm bullshitting all the time now in my blog..haha
wana go to bali!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*dreaming*

givE uP~

2009-03-13T01:19:00.001Z

ok i plan to give up now..since i don have the guts to ask him his phone number...so i'l just gonna forget bout it..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

thinkinG of yoU~

2009-03-10T19:12:00.003Z

Keep thinking bout you the whole time..it's been quite sometime since i felt like this..weird~haha maybe i won't be so lazy anymore..honestly really wanna take some effort to talk to you..let you know me..see if you'll be interest in me :) this is so weird for me...how come i keep thinking??haha or perhaps imagining things hahah..it's not like u are good looking or whatever..hmm..sometimes i just wish i could just talk to u but so scary..i'm so afraid..today after u talk to me..haha i was smiling to myself the whole time..silly right?
A fren told me that i should be brave and show my feelings to ppl i care about but i dunno what is wrong with me..i can talk to anyone but just not u..even u are near sometimes i just pretend i didn't see u..haha..ah crazy..
i should forget bout this..too much..if not some fren might think i'm desperate..ah..
don think don think don think...*wink*
target???

betteR~

2009-03-05T23:39:00.002Z

After releasing my anger with my last two post yesterday...i feel so much better today..less dizziness but still feel dizzy hahah....
so excited bout the watching carmen this saturday and can't wait to go out and party..haven't been partying hard for such a long long time...cos always afraid of this and that..well..don care anymore...
there's a saying..when the boat reach the river bank..the boat will turn straight..haha it's a chinese saying and i can't really explain so if u can't get it..just forget it..or leave a comment!!!hahaha
thanks camille for ur sms..really appreciate it my fren and miss ya a lot..but pls do not forget to settle the place we are staying for the coming semester ok????
had a nice dinner with a fren today..four dished for two of us...great!!!!it's been so long since i had proper dinner..i know you might not believe it because the size of my body..well it is true :P
suppose to have offday tomorrow..but..i gotta work..well whatever...work is work..it's for my working experience i guess....huh!!!
whatever......i should get a target....hahah
nites~

can'T thinK oF a titlE~

2009-03-04T17:43:00.002Z

oh i really don wanna give a fuck anymore...for several months i've ignore my own blog..and now i'm writing two post in a row...pls...i really need to stop suppressing myself...why oh why...sorry for the ppl who read all this bullshit...but now i'm sick and i can't really think but yet my brain is having so much things that i cannot express out verbally..so this is where i pour it all out!!!!
if now you are thinking "cut it out, ming" well i don give a fuck!!!!!
i've been suppressing my idea, my feelings, my emotions, harsh words, my words and myself for so long(verbally)...i can't do this anymore..what is wrong with me??
oh gosh...tis is crazy..i'm getting crazy...the world is crazy..
with all this crazy things happening around you...and i dunno why i care so much bout what ppl thinks about me..or what they gonna tell the "boss" about me...or what did i do wrong that she hate me so much..well i don give a damn anymore..
i'm sorry if i'm noisy or lazy or dirty or if i didn't do my work properly or having an attitude problem called moody...
well that is what you think and you know nothing...zero thing about me...for i don even know myself sometime..so why you bitching bout all this stupid things...
from now on...and i know this is gonna sound selfish...but i'm not gonna be young anymore well actually i am not young anymore!!!! i don wanna give a damn about the people who is just gonna pass by my life anymore!!!!!!
me!!!!i don give a fuck about any of you!!!!!
cos i know you don care as well..with all your fakeness...ah...fuck fuck fuck!!€!!!!!!
right now i really wish i can shout so loud that even ppl in malaysia can hear it!!!!!cos i'm typing so hard on the key pad....
ah!!!!crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chopsticK~

2009-03-04T17:35:00.002Z

why am i so retarded??why can i always not find the better to describe my own feelings?haiz...since i've been in london i had so many things and so many ideas on my mind that i dunno how to express out..so it end up i keep on thinking and thinking when i'm alone at home...when i try to argue about something with someone..i get stuck..i mean my brain and i don have enough vocabulary to argue what i wanna argue...so end up i say nothing..and when i go home..sentences and sentences keep flowing out in my brain but i loss the chance to express it...
i dunno..what define a person????how can u show ur idea or ur personality through??would anyone even care..especially ur "boss"..they told you that they wanna hear your thoughts and what you think bout things in the workplace...but i don think so...it'll end up you getting into trouble or something..haiz..this is crazy what am i doing???
i'm suppose to be doing something i would love doing!!!!!what the hell is wrong??
why can't i speak out my mind???i can't stand it anymore... gosh!!!
BTW there is no right or wrong way of holding a chopstick...but there is a correct and incorrect way of holding it...it's a chinese thing ok????
ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

herE i aM~

2009-01-23T23:31:00.002Z

Haven't post for so long..feel so weird coming back here...one of the reason i stop posting is because i thought no one gonna care what i say in my blog and plus i don even know that i am really saying what i am really feeling..weird huh?? i am kinda weird though...
am in london now..missing home so much...so much until i can't even cry it out..keep doing thing to make myself busy..but nothing is beneficial...feel like i am not living life to the fullest...foolish ming..why oh why???
family have gone for holiday for chinese new year and i am stuck here feeling miserable..i know it is my prob..i should be positive and always look happy for others..so that they don't think that i am angry or moody..but i just cant help it..i'm sorry but it is what i felt..i don feel like talking..i wanna do my job and get it done..i know i am emotional..but pls give me sometime...i wanna be like by you but my emotion..i can't help it...
maybe i should just really hide everything i feel..and just wear a MASK all the time..so that this would make everybody happy and feel better...
i dunno..this is so confusing...until i dunno what to say...maybe i just shouldn't speak out...
:( i dunno..really dunno.....
@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

alL alonE~

2008-11-25T00:44:00.001Z

傻瓜~

2008-11-05T20:36:00.005Z

温岚傻瓜
歌词词:温岚曲:吴克群

其实他做的坏事我们都懂
没有什么不同眼光闪烁
暧昧流动闭上眼
当作听说
其实别人的招数我们都懂
没有什么不同故作软弱
撒娇害羞只是有一点别扭
傻瓜也许单纯地懂
爱得没那么做作
爱上了我不保留
傻瓜我们都一样
被爱情伤了又伤
相信这个他不一样
却又再一次受伤
傻瓜我们都一样
受了伤却不投降
相信付出会有代价
代价只是一句
傻瓜

truE tO youR hearT~

2008-10-20T22:06:00.002+01:00

was talking to a friend today in german class...i'm sorry but i think i'm gonna fail german sweat*
anyway he was asking what is wrong with me since i sounded a bit different...and end up i asked him what is he's opinion bout me..i've never met him before i mean face to face..we knew each other cos he's my fren's bro and my fren introduce us and we started chatting on msn..it's been two years since we start chatting..but it's been almost one and a half year since we last chat with each other..
here's the funny thing..the things he told me it's like he knew for such a long time and have been spending a lotsa time with personally..it's just weird and amazing at the same time..how come someone can know u in this way when the other person who are always around u don even know ur family name...
i dunno..i guess this maybe just because of sincerity i guess...when someone uses their heart to know u..they will be able to know u..haha i dunno what i am talking about..well thank you for what u said to me today..i know i shouldn't think so much sometimes i think of things that i should not be thinking too much...
i'll be a better girl..hope i can be my very best...be a better person i hope...but what i feel is that...being true to yourself is really important i guess..
you know what sometimes my mind think so much..i wish i am hardworking enough to type it all out here...all my funny imagination..my dreams...my thoughts....then after letting it out..i might not think so much anymore..hahhaahhahahah
well...just don wana repeat the mistake that i've done..and sorry..

stupiD mE~

2008-10-13T20:21:00.002+01:00

how can i be so stupid....haiz...can't believe it..and now i'm letting it bother me..keep thinking and the brain keep spinning and thoughts keep coming...thought that is not so good..why why why...this is driving me crazy..don wanna feel this way..it sucks!!!!
why can't i just concentrate on the important things instead of this le???
haiz....so disappointed with myself...feel sucks and sad at the same time...
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
going crazy @_@

it'S oK~

2008-09-27T22:55:00.002+01:00

tried to talk to u...even send u a msg or somethings...but it's seems like it's not working...you don even wanna be frens..it's ok..i got the 'msg'
don worry..i won't disturb you anymore...pls take care of urself...
hugs

mesS~

2008-09-20T09:57:00.003+01:00

this week is really a mess...how can i don do self reflection if i always make mistake le??i'm such a dumbo!!
really need to do something i love and talk to the ppl i love desperately...dunno why i am not feeling well at all...since starting of school..been busy the whole time..exams exams exams non stop..until now i still haven't get an internship..plus fought with my closest friends...why why why??this is just so depressing..i think i should just lock myself in the room until i figure things out...i need the beach..i need the stars..i need to jump n laugh around with nothing to worry about...i need my friends..most importantly i need my family..well this is just not my time..iguess...stay positive~

disasteR~

2008-09-17T21:47:00.003+01:00

today i did my interview..and all i can say is catastrophe haiz...i seriously dunno what i am talk and my brain is blank..plus now i'm i practical so need to keep changing clothes like crazy ppl..why oh why...that's too crazy that's all i can say hahah...
why i can't i just be calmer and talk better why oh why??? hope i still have the chance even though the percentage is not high anymore hahah...
busy busy busy everyday..that's all...seems so different compare to last year...it's so busy this year and don even have time to watch a movie quietly...haiz...so sad..am i or not?? haiz..sayang when are u getting my batik and wayang kulit le??anyway i miss ya....i'm going crazy and will be crazy soon...ahhahaha
can't really write anything touching now....
it's time for.....self-reflection

moloN~

2008-09-17T00:09:00.003+01:00

so scary..gonna have an interview tomorrow..it's my first time and it's so scary...haiz really dunno how to calm myself down..first time doing interview face to face...ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!anyway everyone needs to go through it i guess...it';s a circle of life..haha cakap sampai begitu serious la me..haiz haiz haiz..haha going crazy over here d la...
pls help me!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! due to not able to scream out loud right now..so i just can express it in words...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
hope i'll feel better...really need some good massage la recently..feeling stress out all the time dunno why le..haiz.. I WANT MASSAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
all i can say now is...Good luck to myself and you can do it!!!hahahahah
stupid ming~

beautY n the beasT~

2008-09-14T00:44:00.004+01:00

was watching my all time favorite animated film...again i was amazed by the story, the character, the songs...am impress with the author...i have watch it for so many times already and each time i watch it i have different thoughts a bout it...this time the story makes me think about controlling my temper, thats the first thing my parents and my good friends would wan me to always think about n improve..hahaha and its never judge a book by it's cover..whoever who came up with this phrase..i salute u haha...belle and her father just didn't mind if ppl think they are weird or dont fit in to the community..they have each other and that's all that matter to them as a family...papa i love u...there was one scene after the beast let belle go and look for her dad..and the clock was asking him why and he say i let her go because i love her...it is a really hard thing to do...to let go of things or ppl or dreams that you care about and love so much...the hardest part sometimes is always the letting go part...in my opinion..and it really take a lotsa courage to let go..belle let go of her freedom in exchange for her father's freedom....cry during the whole movie..i know i'm over sensitive sometimes..i guess when u feel like crying u should just let it out...crying or showing weakness doesn't really mean u are weak...i guess...oh well i'm happy i get to watch this again...thanks to my mum who's willing to send it to me..:) happy mid autumn festival and happy birthday to ah ma!!!!!

randoM~

2008-09-11T23:31:00.002+01:00

"How have you been? how's life treating you? hope you found what u search for in life"

Its always the question i wanna ask you but don really get the chance...its a really spontaneous thought that came to my mind bout yous...was listening to a song and thinking...isn't it weird sometimes...someone used to be such a big part of your life..you may even thought of having a future with the person and u plan for so many stuff but suddenly everything change one day...it might be the feelings..it might be just the situation that time...it might just be fate..or cos u are not suitable at that moment...anyways...u been through things together...ups n downs..it's life...get hurt sometimes...but everything is an experience...good ones..learn from mistake and make sure u don do it on the next one but who knows...haha the world changes everyday, people change as well...the earth will keep spinning no matter you wanna move on or not...the world is too big with big problems for ppl to care bout you...i'm blabbing again...anyways

"wish you happiness and lucks and thank you"

misseS~

2008-09-08T00:29:00.002+01:00

was watching the videos given by kelvin last year before i leave malaysia...oh my!!really miss those times when everyone is still so close to each other..now some are in australia, some still stay in malaysia...i really miss all of you..
here, i always hear how my frens have fun before they came to les roches...always party like crazy...doing crazy things n breaking the rules...i was not like that..u can call me a nerd but i don mind seriously..those precious moments with all my frens..all we care about is each other...
we'll do stupid stuff whenever we go..laugh so loud...talk so loud...play funny games...i really cherish all those special moments...
those time is when u are away from alcohol or anything worst than it...it's just pure fun n stupid fun..but it's the best time ever...
felt really bad cos when i was doing my internship in malaysia i didn't spend time with my frens as i should...here i would like to apologize (no matter u can hear it or see it or not)..noo matter what..i still love n miss u guys a lot...
pls always take care of yourself and stay the same....hugs and kisses..

thoughtS~

2008-09-06T23:51:00.002+01:00

lately i've been thinking alot..maybe i should just stay true to myself or maybe i should be a person who always say what ppl wanna hear n don say what ppl don wanna hear..i'm sorry if sometimes i'm stupid and don use my brain to think before i talk but i really mean no harm..and if one person gonna get piss and hate me for that then i really dunno what to say...for your information i am a person who don think before i talk..and it's my weakness..i wanna change it but sometimes it's just hard..it's not something i can control or whatever..it's been like this since long long time ago...i offended ppl with the way i talk...cos i never use my brain...really sorry for the brainless me...i become like that when i'm comfortable with the situation i guess which i shouldn't..i guess i should always just control my brain and don talk so much...better keep it then showing it then...
i'm sorry...been thinking n needly to express it out...
seriously sometimes i just don wanna give a fuck anymore....but i am in this age already...need to be responsible i guess...well if being an adult means this...then i guess i'm gonna be like this...
for now the only way i can think of is keep it to myself....about thought and be careful with my words...
self-reflection..............................................

......

2008-09-06T13:58:00.002+01:00

last night was a disaster for me...fell three times..hurt myself and say things that i shouldn't have said...seriously i really regret some of the things i said and done...oh my! should not should not should not.....haiz haiz haiz...there was a time yesterday that i really feel like killing someone.................
ah anyway.....self-control!

parentS~

2008-09-01T21:53:00.004+01:00

媳妇说："煮淡一点你就嫌没有味道，现在煮咸
一点你却说咽不下。你究竟怎想怎么样？"

母亲一见儿子回来，二话不说便把饭菜往嘴里送. 她怒瞪他一眼。他试了一口，马上吐出来，儿子说："我不是说过了吗，妈有病不能吃太咸！"

"那好！妈是你的，以后由你来煮！"媳妇怒气
冲冲地回房。儿子无奈地轻叹一声，然后对母亲说："妈，别吃了，我去煮个面给？"

"仔，你是不是有话想跟妈说，是就说好了，在心里！"
"妈，公司下个月升我职，我会很忙，至于老婆，她说很想出来工作，所以......"

母亲马上意识到儿子的意思："仔，不要送妈去老人院。"声音似乎在哀求。

儿子沉默片刻，他是在寻找更好的理由。 "妈，其实老人院并没有甚么不好？知道老婆一但工作，一定没有时间好好服侍。老人院有吃有住有人服侍照顾，不是比在家里好得多吗？"

"可是，阿财叔他......"

洗了澡，草草吃了一碗方便面，儿子便到书房去。他茫然地伫立于窗前，有些犹豫不决。母亲年轻便守寡，含辛茹苦将他抚养成人，供他出国读书。但她从不用年轻时的牺牲当作要胁他孝顺的筹码，反而是妻子以婚姻要胁他！真的要让母亲住老人院吗？他问自己，他有些不忍。

"可以陪你下半世的人是你老婆，难道是你妈吗？"阿财叔的儿子总是这样提醒他。

"你妈都这么老了，好命的话可以活多几年，为何不趁这几年好好孝顺她呢？树欲静而风不息，子欲养而亲不在啊！"亲戚总是这样劝他。

儿子不敢再想下去，深怕自己真的会改变初衷。

晚，太阳收敛起灼热的金光，躲在山后憩息。一间建在郊外山岗的一座贵族老人院。是的，钱用得越多，儿子才心安理得。当儿子领着母亲步入大厅时，崭新的电视机，42英寸的荧幕正播放着一部喜剧，但观众一点笑声也没有。几个衣着一样，发型一样的老妪歪歪斜斜地坐在发沙上，神情呆滞而落寞。有个老人在自言自语，有个正缓缓弯下腰，想去捡掉在地上的一块饼干吃。儿子知道母亲喜欢光亮，所以为她一间阳光充足的房间。从窗口望出去，树荫下，一片芳草如茵。几名护士推着坐在轮椅的老者在夕阳下散步，四周悄然寂静得令人心酸。纵是夕阳无限好，毕竟已到了黄昏，他心中低低叹息。

"妈，我......我要走了！"母亲只能点头。他走时，母亲频频挥手，她张着没有牙的嘴，苍白干燥的咀唇在嗫嚅着，一副欲语还休的样子。儿子这才注意到母亲银灰色的头发，深陷的眼窝以及打着细褶的皱脸。母亲，真的老了！

他霍然记起一则儿时旧事。那年他才6岁，母亲有事回乡，不便携他同行，于是把他寄住在阿财叔家几天。母亲临走时，他惊恐地抱着母亲的腿不肯放，伤心大声号哭道："妈妈不要丢下我！妈妈不要走！" 最后母亲没有丢下他。他连忙离开房间，顺手把门关上，不敢回头，深恐那记忆像鬼魅似地追缠而来。

他回到家，妻子与岳母正疯狂的把母亲房里的一切扔个不亦乐乎。身高3英寸的奖杯──那是他小学作文比赛《我的母亲》第1名的胜利品！华英字典──那是母亲整个月省吃省用所买给他的第1份生日礼物！还有母亲临睡前要擦的风湿油，没有
他为她擦，带去老人院又有甚么意义呢？

"够了，别再扔了！"儿子怒吼道。"这么多垃圾，不把它扔掉，怎么放得下我的东
西。" 岳母没好气地说。"就是嘛！你赶快把你妈那张烂床给抬出去，我明天要为我妈添张新的！"一堆童年的照片展现在儿子眼前，那是母亲带他到动物园和游乐园拍的照片。"它们是我妈的财产，一样也不能丢！""你这算甚态度？对我妈这么大声，我要你向我妈道歉！" (楼主注：这算什么儿子，把自己的母亲送到养老院，然后把岳母接来住，要就一起去送，要就留自己的母亲）

"我娶你就要爱你的母亲，为甚么？嫁给我就不能爱我的母亲？"

雨后的黑夜分外冷寂，街道萧瑟，行人车辆格外稀少。一辆宝马在路上飞驰，频频闯红灯，陷黄格，呼一声又飞驰而过。那辆轿车一路奔往山岗上的那间老人院，停车直奔上楼，推开母亲卧房的门。他幽灵似地站着，母亲正抚摸着风湿痛的双腿低泣。她见到儿子手中正拿着那瓶风湿油，显然感到安慰的说："妈忘了带，幸好你拿来！"他走到母亲身边，跪了下来。 "很晚了，妈自己擦可以了，你明天还要上班，回去吧！"

他嗫嚅片刻，终于忍不住啜泣道："妈，对不起，请原谅我！我们回家去吧！"

～～后语～～

随着自己愈长大，看着父母亲脸庞从年轻变憔悴，头发从乌丝变白发,动作从迅捷变缓慢，多心疼！父母亲总是将最好、最宝贵的留给我们，像蜡烛不停的燃烧自己，照亮孩子！而我呢？有没有腾出一个空间给我的父母，或者只是在当我需
要停泊岸时，才会想起他们......

其实父母亲要的真的不多，只是一句随意的问候「爸、妈，你们今天好吗？」随意买的宵夜，煮一顿再普通不过的晚餐，睡前帮他们盖盖被子，天冷帮他们添衣服、戴手套....都能让他们高兴温馨很久。

有时，我常在想：我希望我的子女以后如何对我。那现在，我有没有如此对待我的父母？我相信，人是环环相扣的；现在，你如何对待你的父母；以后，你的子女就如何待你。

朋友，人世间最难报的就是父母恩，愿我们都能：以反哺之心奉敬父母，以感恩之心孝顺父母！

～共勉之～

生命不要求我们成为最好的，只要求我们作最大的努力！

老人安养院墙上发现的一篇文章

孩子！当你还很小的时候，我花了很多时间，教你慢慢用汤匙、用筷子吃东西。教你系鞋带、扣扣子、溜滑梯、教你穿衣服、梳头发、拧鼻涕。这些和你在一起的点点滴滴，是多么的令我怀念不已。所以，当我想不起来，接不上话时，请给我一点时间，等我一下，让我再想一想......极可能最后连要说什么，我也一并忘记。孩子！你忘记我们练习了好几百回，才学会的第一首娃娃歌吗？是否还记得每天总要我绞尽脑汁，去回答不知道你从哪里冒出来的吗？所以，当我重复又重复说着老掉牙的故事，哼着我孩提时代的儿歌时，体谅我。让我继续沉醉在这些回忆中吧！切望你，也能陪着我闲话家常吧！孩子，现在我常忘了扣扣子、系鞋带。吃饭时，会弄脏衣服，梳头发时手还会不停的抖，不要催促我，要对我多一点耐心和温柔，只要有你在一起，就会有很多的温暖涌上心头。

孩子！如今，我的脚站也站不稳，走也走不动。所以，请你紧紧的握着我的手，陪着我，慢慢的。就像当年一样，我带着你一步一步地走。

若为人子女也不懂得如何体谅他们，那他们便只能于痛苦中渡过余生，黑暗中逝去......

家人才是最重要的, 爱情可以重新再找寻，但父母一生却只有一个，要珍惜、珍重。

birthdaY girL n boY~

2008-09-01T20:54:00.002+01:00

Today is a special day for both of my friends....happy birthday my dear friends..wishing u all the best in everything..
one of them are here with me and today we went to the school's a la carte restaurant and had a good time there..the teacher in charge today is as funny as ever..took a lotsa pics together..i get to have such a time with friends that i didn't hang out much or know last year...it was my own fault cos last semester i was a different person i guess...i blame myself for that...i should have use my brain more i guess..a million thanks for letting me into ur life..accepting me..and forgiving me..
for the one who's not here...everyone miss u here...hope you are doing well over the other side of the world...
"friendship is trusting, sharing, accepting, forgiving, and believing"

toucH~

2008-08-24T21:30:00.002+01:00

“Sometimes the best and the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, cannot be touched, but can be felt in the heart "

FriendshiP~

2008-08-24T00:05:00.002+01:00

thank you to all my friends...i know i get emo easily all the time n u were and still are there for me all the time...i get depress easily but i'll always remember i still have you....Thank you my friends!

p/s: am a bit drunk now....as usual :P

simplE~

2008-08-21T22:59:00.003+01:00

不管男人還是女人
心動的那一刻　就是一種永恆
思念的那一刻　就是一個整天
但畢竟　太陽和月亮是不同的發光體

還記得　男人與女人　一起走向一顆大樹
放入　各自的心情

約好了　某年某月的同一天

要一起打開時光保盒
回憶　彼此最相愛的那一刻

也許是巧合　我們都放入了同一首歌
也許是刻意　我們都說了愛

這就是我想念妳的24個小時
妳感覺到了嗎？

i miss you

quotEs from coloneL johN treadwelL~

2008-08-20T10:08:00.002+01:00

"i rather be a failure at something i loved than a success at something i didn't love"

"life is full of irony and paradox, contradiction is truer than absolute certainty"

p/s: i totally agree lah....:P

emO~

2008-08-19T21:43:00.002+01:00

recently things have been different n difficult for some friends....feelings of loneliness..emptiness and perhaps unhappiness...i guess we all have a mutual feelings...especially for ppl like me who get depress easily...haha i wish i'm not like this n am always positive, cheerful and bring happiness to ppl around me...but i guess i can't do it...plus my stupid n ridiculous bad temper..haiz
wish my family to be happy n healthy..wish that my friends are happy n get what they want.....wish my dog, hunter healthy...wish mother earth can stay alive for a long long time....
i'm typing this post so randomly i don even know what i wanna say...anyway...whatever...

I feel bluE.........................

watcH~

2008-08-18T23:29:00.002+01:00

can't help but to fall in love with him....p/s b4 this i don really listen to this... :P

mixeD feelingS~

2008-08-17T21:47:00.003+01:00

Went to Lugano yesterday..the weather there was good...sunny but windy...the lake was beautiful...the scenery was perfect...we rent a boat without a license and drive around the lake for one hour...it was nice even though we have some bumpy moment..thank you guys for the wonderful n scary moment on the boat...later went to a small park...just lie on the green grass enjoying the sun...what more can u expect from life? :P (let's not talk about the unhappy moment of this whole outing).

woke up this morning...receive a really retarded msg in facebook...what the hell is wrong with this person who's trying to hurt my fren??ok this person is not worth it to be mention here
My fren..pls stay strong...we will always be by ur side n support u no matter what.....pls keep that in mind...there's more to life...much more....love you always..

gambathe neh!!!

p/s:(i know i'm stupid today for getting piss..sorry to the frens i offended la..i do some self-reflect)

btw...p/s stands for pai seh :P

mein mottO~

2008-08-17T15:35:00.002+01:00

BEe yourself~

Life is Short, so break the rules...

Forgive quickly,

Believe slowly,

Love truly,

Laugh uncontrollably,

And...

Never regret anything that made you smile...

Every Little Smile can touch Somebody's heart...

wEirD

2008-08-15T23:02:00.000+01:00

This is my first post and i really dunno what to say...i guess it's just a place for me to express my anger n feelings...just came back from barb's room..tonight we had a hot pot plus games session...everyone is having fun i hope...anyway was really thankful that stacie n barb help me out in this...even though it didn't start good but it ends good..at least that's what i think...haha..been in swiss for almost one month but still miss home so much...miss everyone in malaysia...i miss out my best friend's birthday...i'm really sorry sayang..will make it up to u k??

Really hope things will get better in 2008 cos at the beginning of the year things didn't seem to go well.....gambathe neh!!!!!!!!!

beeN thinkinG~